


One last time

by october_lady



Category: Once Upon a Time RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 14:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11648703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/october_lady/pseuds/october_lady
Summary: They met on set one last time.





	One last time

**Author's Note:**

> We all love a bit of pain, don't we? Have you thought about Jen's last time on set? No? Well I have, many times. And this is what came out of it.
> 
> Do you know Ariana Grande's song 'One last time'? You should listen to it. As you read this.
> 
> My girlfrand smacked me few times when she was reading it so I apologise. But not really. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and leave a comment bellow, please :-)

New season. New adventures for Regina. New sets. New costumes. New cast. Lana scoffed. New cast, yes. It’s not that she wasn’t excited. She was. It just means that all, well most, of her friends are gone. And Jen. She felt sharp pain in her heart at the thought of the blonde. It was all still too fresh and coming back to the set only made it worse.

 

She missed her. So freaking much. But Jen wanted it this way and she had to agree that with their busy schedules it made sense.

 

For the past few months on set, they had been… what exactly? There was something between them, something they had been trying not to act on. Those attractions…. Feelings even… Until they gave in. They gave in and dove in the mess head first, spending so much time together. Helping each other with scripts, chatting over coffee, going out for dinner. It all started so slowly and innocently, just spending time together as friends. It felt so natural, so easy, they just clicked.

 

Then one day when they stayed up late going through an emotional scene between Emma and Regina, Jen suddenly confessed.

 

“I think Swan Queen makes sense.” She said it so fast as if she were afraid she might change her mind midsentence.

 

“I know,” Lana just smiled at her softly because she knew this was something the blonde was having a never ending internal struggle with and she didn’t want to scare her off. But her heart was beating fast with excitement and nervousness.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Jen continued abruptly, her face red.

 

“Of course,” Lana nodded encouragingly.

 

“Why do you think people assume we…we…” She stopped, suddenly unsure how to continue this.

 

“…are more than just friends?” Lana smirked.

 

“Yes.” The blonde swallowed, looking everywhere but the brunette.

 

“I’m not sure. Could be the fun we have together? Or the looks?” Lana winked at her as she pushed the loose strand of hair behind her ear. The blonde shivered at the soft touch and her face went even redder. “Why are you asking me that now? Did something happen?”

 

“I- think I’ve been wanting to kiss you…” The blonde whispered.

 

The brunette looked into the green eyes, looking for a sign that this was all a game. She didn’t find any.

 

“Do it then.”

 

And they kissed for the first time. Lana remembered this as she was sitting on the couch in her trailer. They kissed. And again. They made out. Once, twice, three times, ten times. They did more than that. They slept together. They made love. They fucked. They continued spending time together.

 

But they never said they were together, dating, exclusive. Neither of them had any other partners, yet it still felt like they were just… having fun. So why does it still hurt so much? Why is it burning a hole in Lana’s heart?

 

Because then it ended. Jen wanted it to end. The show was finished for the blonde, she wanted to move on, to get free. She was busy, new projects already lining up and sadly, in involved them being on opposite coasts, in different countries. So Lana agreed. It made sense. Everything the blonde said, all the explanations, they all made sense. Did they really?

 

She just couldn’t imagine sliding into a long distance… What even was that? They were never dating, even though it felt like it. She never dared to speak about it, to discuss the nature of their relationship. She was afraid that Jen would get scared and ran away. They were just friends, friends with benefits. Benefits that made her heart flutter, touches that sent shivers down her spine.

 

But Jen wanted it to end so she didn’t really have a choice. The blonde got herself busy, staring in her new show. Lana would never admit it but she stalked twitter, looking for new photos of Jen ever so often, just wanting to see that she was happy. She wanted to go see her play, she really did but she knew it would be like pouring salt into a fresh wound and she wasn’t sure it was worth it. Also, seeing the blonde only in sexy lingerie fooling around with a guy, even when it’s just on stage, she felt jealous just thinking about it.

 

So she didn’t go. She regretted it. She sent her flowers instead. Bouquet of beautiful roses and lilies accompanied with a note congratulating her on the play and apologizing for not coming to see it. Jen sent her a text message thanking her and saying that it’s okay, she understands. And then, few hours later, Lana saw her flowers on instagram stories with the caption “Thank you for the beautiful flowers”. Her heart skipped a beat and a huge smile spread on her lips for the rest of the day.

Lana shook her head and took deep breaths. She can’t just sit here and drown herself in those sad feelings. She has to start doing something. The brunette opened her new script. She demanded the whole one, not exactly sure why but it was probably because she didn’t want to come to set every day hoping the blonde would be there.

She started reading it, rolling her eyes from time to time, making notes. Turning to the next page, she froze. Emma. She blinked and looked again. The name was still there. Emma. Emma had a scene. She flicked through the rest of the pages quickly. More Emma. More scenes. That means… that means Jen would be there. Jen is coming. She is going to see her again!

 

The next day she came extra early to the set. She couldn’t sleep. She scared and nervous and excited and happy and scared again, all within few minutes.

 

_ Pull yourself together, damn it! _

 

And then she saw her. The blonde arrived to the set about half an hour later, getting out of the car with black sunglasses on despite there being no sun. She was dressed casual, short hair in natural messy waves as if she hadn’t brushed her hair. Lana smiled. She missed those messy curls tickling her in her face in mornings. 

 

The blonde looked in Lana’s direction as if she felt someone has been watching her. The brunette stepped back quickly, not wanting to be seen. Not yet at least.

 

They didn’t have any scenes together. She was trying to steal another look at the blonde but she felt like everyone was watching her, raising their eyebrows but not saying anything. 

 

Lana hid in her trailer, not wanting to be tempted any more. It felt wrong not to at least say ‘hi’ but on the other hand, would it really be the best idea?

 

She sat on the couch with a cup of tea and tried to learn her lines for the next day. About a half an hour later, there was a gentle knock on the door.

 

“Come on in!” She shouted, barely looking up from the papers. The door opened and closed again and then finally the person spoke.

 

“Hi.” It was soft and shy and quiet but the brunette’s heart made a backflip and started pacing.

 

“Jen?” She looked up surprised, unable to stop her lips from spreading into a huge smile.

 

“Hello,” the brunette said again, awkwardly raising her hand in a nervous wave. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Lana jumped up to her feet and took a step to the blonde.

 

“I noticed you were avoiding me but I just wanted to say hi… and to see you.” She smiled shyly again.

 

“I’m not… I wasn’t… I mean…” Lana stumbled over words.

 

“It’s fine, you don’t have to explain.” The blonde looked at her, understanding every unspoken word. She felt the same way. “I… missed you…” She finally said as she took a step closer, her hand froze awkwardly in the air.

 

Lana looked into her eyes, seeing the pain, her own heart clenching. “You wanted this. It was your decision.”

 

“I know. You have every right to be mad at me. I just...didn’t think it would be that difficult I guess. But I still think it was the right choice, Lana, I miss you, so much, I really do, but I’m so busy, this -” she motioned between them, “- this couldn’t work with our schedules…” The pain was audible in her voice, her eyes started to water.

 

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re right. We are doing the right thing. It just all hit me hard coming back to set and you not being here, that’s all.”

 

“We are a mess,” Jen shook her head with a weak smile.

 

“Yes, we are,” Lana laughed. 

 

They were looking at each other for few seconds, not knowing exactly what to say.

 

“Why did you decide to wear this jacket?” The brunette touched the collar of the jeans jacket the blonde was wearing, flicking it between her fingers.

 

“Do I really have to answer that question?” Jen’s face turned red.

 

“I think I’d like to know why Emma is wearing a jacket that we both bought together…” The brunette begged silently.

 

Jen took a deep breath, trying to blink her tears back as she looked up to the ceiling, talking herself into not crying. Then she crossed the small distance between Lana and herself and leaned her forehead against hers as she tangled her fingers in Lana’s hair. 

 

“Because I fucking miss you, that’s why.” She breathed out, eyes closed, just holding Lana close.

 

“You’re an idiot,” Lana tried to hide her sob in a chuckle but didn’t do a very good job.

 

“Can I kiss you? One last time?” The blonde asked, full of hope but also fear of rejection.

 

“Yes,” the brunette whispered, knowing very well she will regret this later. She let herself be pulled even closer, till their lips touched. The kiss was salty as tears were running down their faces. It wasn’t a proper kiss. They just pressed their lips to each other, staying there, devouring the moment.

 

It felt like forever yet not long enough when Lana pulled away.

 

“You should go,” she wiped off her tears.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. I just… can’t right now…”

 

“It’s okay. Maybe in a few years…” The brunette laughed sadly.

 

“Maybe. Just don’t wait for me, okay?” The blonde looked at her before she walked to the door.

 

“Thank you. For stopping by,” Lana smiled instead of answering the question.

 

“Always.”

 

___________________________________________

 

The SDCC was just few weeks later. It didn’t help Lana with the way she has been feeling lately. For the past six years, it was always the same group of people, her friends, which helped with the stress and the pace things were moving, lack of sleep and time to even go to the bathroom. 

 

More importantly, Jen wasn’t there. Their little encounter didn’t ease the pain but it was a form of conclusion. 

 

She was coming back to her room at the end of the day, exhausted, carrying her heels in her hands because her feet were suffering. She was rubbing her temple with the other hand, shaking her head at herself. Couple times throughout the day she felt like she saw a blonde in the crowd. She knew it were the cosplayers, yet every time she hoped it were the one and only blonde.

 

Lana looked up and froze. There was a blonde in the hall. Now this was getting ridiculous. She definitely needed to rest. 

 

The blonde looked up and smiled. The brunette froze on the spot and dropped her shoes. That’s…!

 

“Jen?!”

 

“Hi,” the blonde smiled shyly. 

 

“What are you doing here?”

“I… would like to talk.” 

 

“Oh.” 

 

“If you want, of course.”

 

“Yes, yes, come in,” Lana nodded, opening the door with her shaking hand.

 

Jen stayed in the middle of the room, looking around awkwardly, not really knowing what to do.

 

“Sit down,” Lana smiled nervously as she threw her hand in the air, motioning to all the possible surfaces in the room. Jen nodded and sat on the edge of the bed as it was the closest thing to her.

 

“So what did you want to talk about?”

 

“I-”

 

“There’s no need to be shy,” Lana smiled and sat down next to her.

 

“It’s probably late for this, and I understand if you kick me out,” she took a deep breath before she continued. “I can’t be without you. I miss you too much. You are part of me, I don’t want to keep any distance, in fact, fuck the distance. I couldn’t stay away when I knew you were so close to me, I just had to drive down here and see you. But I understand if it’s too late, I know I screwed up, I-”

 

Before the blonde could finish, Lana silenced her with a kiss. 

 

“I want you. I’ll always want you.” The brunette whispered. She was holding Jen’s head in her hand, keeping her close.

 

“Likewise,” the blonde smiled as happy tears were running down her face.

 


End file.
